Remember that proposal to eliminate late night Metro service? Earlier today on his radio show, Kojo Nnamdi asked WMATA GM Richard Sarles if closing Metro early would contribute to more dangerous, drunk driving, since lots of Metro’s late night riders are coming from bars.

Sarles’ response was that riders “getting on our train should not be drunk.”

Hallelujah! Problem solved! If only we’d thought of this sooner! But why stop there?

Remember those pesky bag searches Metro is implementing? Well you know, I really think that terrorists entering the Metro system should not be terrorists. It’s not very neighborly of them, after all.

Problem solved! No more bag searches necessary. I look forward to Mr. Sarles canceling the bag search program, since obviously wishful thinking is all it takes.